Me being me

I'm not perfect, i'm just me, sorry if it's wrong, it's all i can be

10.02.12

Because i’m accident proned i’ve chipped two of my left ribs. Being a dancer makes this difficult. My dance school (www.starlightacademy.co.uk) is going to do a mardi gras competition in november and we had the auditions tonight!

I was nervous. More because Catherine was going to be there, she’s absolutely amazing! I went in, in pain, and learnt the dance. Fine. I went in and did the audition. Fine. Then my ribs started to hurt. I was in tears and I was so scared that I might get called back.

In the end I didn’t get called back. Phew! I got in though! I’d litterally been in the house half an hour and my mum got a text saying both me and my sister were in!Bingo! So that’s the 10th november i’ve not got free! I can’t wait! The excitment starts here.

I’ve done competitions (solo’s, duet’s and trio’s) before, a lot. I’ve done troups too but nothing quite this big. This one is going to be memorable. Plus, it’s in London which means a great trip and SHOPPING! I’m hopefully going to share a room with Taz and Beth and we can go round together!

I’m buzzing and can’t get to sleep. Damn painkillers.

Equation of the day: Paracetamol + Excitement = Hyperness!

31.01.12

When people hurt you and then say they forgive you, what do you say? If they make you lose everything, take everything that’s important away from you and then the don’t even say sorry, yet they still want you to apologise, even when you did nothing wrong… what do you do? You can’t say no but… you can’t give in and say sorry for nothing… 

That’s what I did. I was hurt badly by a girl, she took my best friend, the guy I liked, and my happy helper away from me… and that’s just the one person. She made him hate me, like literally, never want to talk to me ever again. Then she text me… I want to be friends, she said, I want to forgive and forget please. Well I was gob smacked, I really didn’t know what to say. 

Apart from that, we’re starting a project in English and all we have to do is watch films and write about how they genderize stereotypically. Our teacher’s a feminist. He doesn’t shut up about it. Feminism this, feminism that. I agree with some bits, like how the world is sometimes unfair on women. Other stuff… just get annoying! 

29.01.12

Birthdays are one of the best days of the year -along with Christmas- and when they come around, something has to be done. My Granny’s birthday was on the 15th but she was away so we’re doing a nice family party tonight. At our house. Brilliant. This means that all day we need to be clearing and cleaning! Not my thing. So I bagged the baking job, now all I have to do is make food. I can do that!

We’re just doing little nibbley bits and pieces but I’m making an amazing desert. It’s called ‘Orange and Passion fruit mess’ and it’s delicious. I’ve only made it once before but it went well. My Granny specifically requested fish dishes and we were all set and then my auntie-to-be went and got herself pregnant so she can’t eat sea-food. Fantastic.

I am quite excited for her to have a baby. I can babysit and get paid! Yeah, no family discounts! To top things off, I’ve been left to tidy the kitchen whilst my little brother and sister are out at Jujitsu grading.

I’ve also been busy uploading songs to my Ipod. I now have to full Disney collection! Aren’t I cool?  I have other stuff to -obviously- but I love Disney so much I thought I’d ask for the CD for xmas!

Anyhow, I’d best get back to baking! 

16.01.12

People have their own obsessions… each of them different. Mine, I may have mentioned before is Harry Potter. Harry Potter and Twilight don’t mix… some people say. I am one of the people that agree. Watching all eight Harry Potter films in a row is a great experience, however, spending about five hours watching the twilight saga… not so fascinating.

Some people love them, one of my best friends included… although I’m not that big a fan. I find them boring and not very exciting. They do get better, that I will admit and I adore Jasper he’s amazing but the films themselves aren’t that good really to be perfectly honest.

I love those ‘lazy days’ you know the ones where you sit about in your PJ’s all day and watch TV, if you can’t already tell, that’s what I’ve done today, (and some of yesterday.) I’ve just finished watching Eclipse and settled the argument between my heart and mind that Harry Potter beats all other fiction films ever made! My heart being Harry’s side!

To be fair though, you can’t beat a bit of Taylor tum! His eight pack is to die for, any girl that see’s him immediately goes into heart melt-down! I’m surprised there’s any teenage female members of society left.

Ah, after spotting the time at the bottom of my screen I’ve decided it’s probably time to retire to bed. You know, considering I have school tomorrow!

13.01.12

I know exactly what to do with my brand new blog… because I’m terrible at remembering to write in my diary but I go on my laptop at least once a day… so… it’s my new diary! Ta dah!

So today… well, obviously I had to go to school… yes!!! I mean how much interesting stuff can you put about a fifteen year old going to school… you can’t? Oh well… let’s start at the very beginning, a very good place to start… (I’m musical so that sort of thing will come up a lot!)

I woke up to the sound of my mum calling my name, (as I do every morning) and I rolled over and ignored her as I always do. She went downstairs to make my breakfast that I probably wouldn’t eat and make a list of jobs I had to do that I probably wouldn’t read. 

When I eventually pulled myself out of bed, desperate for a wee, I slumped of to do my morning business in the bathroom. Holy shit! I had just walked past the mirror and had scared myself to death! I looked terrible, like I’d been beaten and left to die in a hedge! My hair was a shit tip, (like my room) and yesterdays mascara was smudged under my eyes. Brilliant. 

I shuffled into the kitchen minutes later and sat down at the breakfast bar. I’d wiped the mascara away but hadn’t even started to try to do anything to my hair! I ate my breakfast… well… most of it… the bit I didn’t eat I gave to my dog Sal. It was one crumpet and I knew I’d be hungry later so I nicked a chocolate bar from the fridge and shoved it down my bra for safe keeping! 

After tending to my job of emptying and re-loading the dishwasher I forced myself to climb the stares back up to my room! Finding my clothes in a pile at the bottom of my bed I threw them on and then began to neaten up. Catching sight of myself in the mirror I made a mental note to myself that I needed to sort out the birds nest that was starting to form on the top of my head! 

I managed to pack my bag, sort out some shitty make-up and get out of the house in time. We were waiting for my little brother, well I say little, he’s ten and he was frickin’ late! he came dawdling out of the house leaving us ten minutes to get to school… never going to happen.

It did happen! We managed to get to school in time and I didn’t get yet another late mark! The first thing my friend said to me as I walked into the classroom was “Ooh your hair looks nice,” I simply laughed in her face. I hadn’t even tried after I had made the mental note to tackle my hair because we both knew who was going to win! I had left it in it’s quickly done up messy ponytail I had worn to dance and bed!

I can’t say anything at all for the first two lessons… I mean there’s only one thing you can say about Maths followed by RS and that’s… yawn… sorry what was I saying I got sidetracked by a piece of dust… oh yeah Maths and RS, dust is more exciting! Dust! I spent my break time wandering around with Emma looking for a copy of the Romeo and Juliet script for Scala and eventually found it in the Drama room after asking at the Library and English… who would have thought it would be in Drama? Anyway after we found it we couldn’t understand the thing so we gave up and put it away!

Science. Science, well… we… erm… we… did some stuff… on Science… Yes, in Science I managed to get sat on a table with people I’m friends with! Who does that?! So I learn absolutely nothing at all in Science… that’s good with you know exams coming up and all that!

Lunch could have been better! Much better, I spent fifteen minutes at the head of hear office watching one of my friends in the year above get shouted at, (and I mean shouted… like full on BELLOWED!) for doing something or other, didn’t quite catch it, I was fixing my ear drums! Then, after my event in the office I had to go buy Katie some food! Oh joy!

I ended the day with Music and History. Now usually Music would be a good thing however, my teacher and I aren’t exactly best friends at the moment, (I’m not going into it) and so I was particularly moody in his lesson! I cheered up for History though! I guess we can just say I like the company…  

To start with…

I love getting home and sitting down with a ‘cuppa’ I don’t get to often of course because I’m forever dancing but it’s nice to sometimes just relax. I have a strange obsession with Disney songs so as I sit here blogging that’s what I listen to. I’n not a party person, or an out-going person, in fact you could call me pretty boring but I like it that way. 

I get invites to parties but I normally say I’m busy because I’d much rather be sat at home with my chocolate and my laptop! There’s nothing like a good face-booking session. There’s no point in pretending, it’s me being me!

Being yourself isn’t easy is it? I am myself quite a lot but everyone has their moments where they act nicer, kinder, more polite, sometimes even more grown up don’t they? It’s normally to get attention from a ‘certain someone’ isn’t it? Same here, you’ll expect me to say… sadly no… I’m very good at being friends with boys but absolutely shocking at ‘flirting’ or ‘getting them t like me’ I know… Gutted! I am, trust me! 

I’ll be good at blogging… I hope… I just hope I don’t blurt something out… something I can’t take back…